Sunday

Gringos Marrying Ecuadorian Women - Pros and Cons Updated 2018

This updated article was first published on our blog on October 2015

Reader Asks: I am thinking of traveling to Ecuador I have met a Ecuadorian lady online, Do the women wish to stay in this country or would they like to marry an American man and move here, I am asking just in general I realize each could be different. In the Philippines many women wish to marry anyone and come here to US.
 

Well thanks for asking us. As you know, putting two people together into a commitment of Marriage is already a challenge without adding additional hurdles such as different language, different culture and different place.  Marriage  is a lifetime commitment and just flying off to another country, thinking you met the Ecuador woman of your dreams online and whisking her off to the U.S is a bit Cinderella-ish.   

This video talks about some of the pros and cons of marrying an Ecuadorian woman. Remember, this is generally speaking, as not everyone exhibits the same character traits. Everyone has their own unique individuality.
                 

We hate to say it but you are jumping the gun.  It sounds like you think you love this Ecuadorian woman whom you have never met and don’t know very well, which shows us that you are allowing your emotions to lead the relationship rather than your sensibilities.
 

There is nothing wrong with marrying an Ecuadorian girl and taking her back to your homeland but you haven’t even met the woman and not only that, but you don’t even know her or her family. She may not want to move to the U.S. It may take more than a 3-month VISA stay in Ecuador to find out if this Ecuadorian woman has a commitment to be with you for life. 

UPDATE 2018: Ecuador Marriage Visa -  If you're thinking of coming here and marrying so to receive a quick Ecuadorian citizenship, be careful there are lengthy interviews for spotting sham weddings and three years of marriage before you can even apply for citizenship. There have been numerous Colombians, Chinese and Cubans who have wedded Ecuadorians in sham marriages. We say, don't risk it. Marrying an Ecuadorian woman just so you can receive citizenship is a bad idea and demoralizes the beautiful relationship of marriage.

Do Ecuadorian Women Want to Move to the U.S?
Ecuadorian women usually have very close relationships with their parents, meaning she may not want to move to North America. Ecuadorians are usually happy and content in their own country. 

We will say this: Ecuadorian women admire some things about the U.S, but they aren’t itching to leave Ecuador and go live in the U.S like Philippine women are.

An American man marrying an Ecuadorian woman or any foreign woman, for that matter can be very convoluted. It’s not as easy as it seems. There is so much you need to think about before wasting your time with someone you met online. There are so many unanswered questions. Let's talk about those.
 

1. Why does an Ecuadorian woman feel the need to go to an online dating room and find an American man to marry?  Is there an agenda? Maybe she does want to move to North America? 


Update 2018: This question you will not know until you actually meet her and find out her substance and what she is all about.
 

2. Do you really want to spend thousands of dollars to fly to and stay in Ecuador for a few months just to SEE if she is willing to marry and move back to the U.S with you? It would be different if you were already just moving to Ecuador for the adventure or other personal reasons and then you just happened to meet her/a woman, etc, etc. But you don’t even know her. 

Update 2018: Our oldest son married an Ecuadorian woman but he lives here and they courted for three years before getting married. They knew each other inside and out before getting married
 

3. Many of the Ecuadorian women come from not so well off families and in some cases they actually SEEK to marry a man with money to help the family out. It doesn’t mean she will not love and care for her husband; it means her family is important to her. The question is, are you willing to do that?  Are you willing to take care of her parents/grandparents too?  (This is one reason why she may not want to move to the U.S as well.)
 

In more prosperous Ecuadorian families this is probably not expected that you pay for things. But this brings me back to “why” is she going online searching for an American man?  Red flag? Maybe?
 

4. Have you thought about this?: in the unfortunate event of a break up, have you thought about the children? It would be VERY difficult on the children to be separated from one of their parents.  Contrary to popular belief, divorce does a lot of emotional damage to children and sometimes scars them for life. 


Update 2018: And have you thought about if she decides she wants to move back to Ecuador with YOUR children? This happens and it can happen to anyone who marries an Ecuadorian woman and moves to the U.S...in the event of something harming the relationship, more than likely, because of the attachment Ecuadorian women have with their parents, she'll probably want to move back to Ecuador and take any children you have together with her too.



This is the reality when you marry any woman from another country.
 

5. Not speaking the same language can also be a big problem, so it is imperative that you speak Spanish so you can communicate appropriately with one another. 


Update 2018: It doesn't seem like a big deal but if you're trying to "get to know" someone being able to articulate what they are saying is a huge, huge part of communication, something all relationships meed to survive. Couples who speak different languages will have some barriers to deal with such as miscommunication and lack of thorough understanding of each other.   


Marrying Foreign Women and Taking Them to the U.S

We have also heard some horror stories about gringos marrying foreign women; one such story was from a man who took his Philippine bride back to the United States and after gaining a bit of the u.s. feminist culture she divorced him and took him for everything he’s got, even the child they have together. We know the man personally. There are many such unfortunate stories in the feminist culture that is the u.s.a. 


Update 2018: It's always sad to hear these stories about men and women who lost their children because they married a foreigner and then the foreign person moved back to their country and took the children with them.
 

Will it happen to you? Depends on if you TRULY know the woman you marry. and in your case, it looks like you don’t know her at all. If she is leading the relationship, telling you what she wants, how things are going to be done, taking a leading role,  then you might want to reassess…and if you continue to allow her to behave in this way, she would seem to us to be a selfish woman who only cares about what she can get from you. Knowing this then you wouldn’t need to come all the way to Ecuador, wasting all that money to meet with her. You already have your answer.


Update 2018 - We have a lot of good things to say about Ecuadorian women because we have had many positive interactions and relationships with them. We're parents to an Ecuadorian daughter now and love her to pieces and she is wonderful and we've been blessed but not all Ecuadorian women are going to be marriage material...you know what we mean? 


This certainly doesn't mean you can't find a good Ecuadorian woman, because you can, but where you meet her is the starting of what kind of foundation you can base the relationship on. for example: if you meet an Ecuadorian girl in a nightclub or bar, she is going to be different than the Ecuadorian girl you meet while at a volunteer project or University class, or Christian group, or other hobby group. 
 

Getting to Know Her

The best way to start off a relationship is by becoming friends and getting to truly know someone, finding out what they are all about, which cannot happen through an online chat room; anyone can say whatever they please and you still will not know them and that’s because you need to see how she behaves and interacts in day to day situations and with you.
 

Most people can talk a good talk but when it comes time to showing the talk, they somehow flub up and the truth comes out.  Where is the show; it was all false...that's online dating rooms for you. This happens often when meeting people in dating websites, so you have to be careful. Actions speak much, much louder than words. Tell me, what actions do you see from someone through an online chat room?
 

If you come to here to meet an Ecuadorian girl, the best advice we can give you is, leave the emotions back in the U.S. Don’t become overly attached because it may not be the right woman for you.  She may be pretty and nice when viewing her in a live chat room but what does her heart say? What is her substance all about? Be friends, spend as much time together as you can, learn what she is about, what she expects in a marriage, what kind of a lady is she, but use your sensibilities rather than emotions.
 

After getting to know her and you find she is all that you want for a wife and more then you will be blessed. But if it turns the other way, so what, learn from it and move on. Some relationships just were not meant to be.   

If you enjoyed this article we think you might like these also! Give them a try and see what you think?

We're an Expat Family of Five, Living Frugal, Healthy and Happy Abroad. We live in Cuenca, Ecuador and travel the Ecuador coast whenever we get a chance. We just adventured throughout the country of Panama for five weeks! Come along and enjoy some of our experiences with us!

3 comments:

  1. Poor thing! Another emasculated American male...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Frank and Angie I think you know who I am by now PT007, just one thing the man never said it was a dating chat room but good advice because you just never know online or in person what the other one is all about. Wish this man would have give more information as what kind of chat room he met this women how old each one is etc. Were exactly ie: city she is from would help because it does make a difference and how long have they been talking.

    I'll give you an example, I met my husband online and no not a dating chat room. We talked for a year and more before we started to like each other this was in 2007 and by 2011 we were married. Best thing I have ever done in my life, I lived with my husband in Egypt until I had to return because my parents became ill. He had no thought of leaving Egypt, we are still married our anniversary is Oct 16 Th.

    It really doesn't matter how you meet someone you just have to have your feet firmly planted on the ground. And as you say don't let your emotions get away from you. I will admit of meeting in person in the country you live in is better but does not guarantee the man or women isn't in the relationship for any other reason than love. People like this are all over the place.

    As an Ecuadorian women and from what I have seen myself one huge red flag and if this happens to your RUN and don't look back is if the women or man comes to you and says they need money for any reason, death, sickness etc. An Ecuadorian will most likely never ask for money outright. I know of one women both from Ecuador by the way that always had a family emergency and bleed her fiance dry. After she got what she needed from hims as in paying for her mothers house she unceremoniously dumped him. This case was two Ecuadorians meeting and supposedly falling in love in person.

    Second red flag, or more of a suggestion, do NOT have sexual relations under any circumstances even if things are changing in Ecuador a women is expected to be a virgin when she marries and if she is willing to just give it away (sorry sounds harsh) then something is not right. Then if you do decide to, you know, there might be a child involved and if she is not really in love with you, you will be paying her for this child and housing until that child is 18 and you can be in the USA or Ecuador it doesn't matter.

    Do NOT rush into anything look how long it took my husband and I. By the time we met we had talked about everything under the sun.

    Secondly please if everything works out and both are truly in love and your of another religion please for God's sake don't try to change her. Both my husband and I respect our faiths and respect is very important in a marriage. Good luck to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MAN THE FACT IS THIS SOUND CINDERELAISH AS YOU CALL IT BUT I AM FROM ECUADOR ACTUALLY, I COME FROM A GOOD FAMILY, I DO NOT NEED HELP FOR MY GRANDPARENTS OR MOTHER OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, FOR THEY ALL OWN THEIR HOUSES AND EVEN LANDS, I AM NOT THE CASE AND SPEAKING OF IT IN GENERAL IS NOT OKAY, SORRY BUT YOU NEED YOUR OWN LIMITS... HOPEFULLY YOU END UP FINDING THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS AS I WISH AND DESIRE TO BEAR A FAMILY WITH A MAN FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY, I JUST LIKE TO AND GET EVERYONE INTO YOUR RIVER DOESNT SOUND MORE LIKE NATIVISH? HOPE YOU ANSWER... AND NO I DO NOT HAVE KIDS EITHER TO TAKE CARE OF... IF YOU GENERALLY LOOKING FOR A WOMAN FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY IF IS INDIGENOUS FOR EXAMPLE OR BLACK AS RACIST AS IT MAY SOUND THEY DO TEND TO BE POOR AS A MATTER OF BACKGROUNDS COLONIALISM? IF YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH, AND YES OF COURSE THEN YOU WILL DEFINITLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH TAKING CARE OF THEIR FAMILIES FOR THEY TEND TO BE POOR... BUT CERTAINLY IS NOT EVERYONES CASE...

    ReplyDelete

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