Having brought our three young adult sons with us to Ecuador has afforded us the golden opportunity to know several twenty-something Ecuadorian girls on a more personal level rather than just interacting with them on the street and in business.
Through the years of living in Ecuador we have had Ecuadorians over to our house for meals, birthdays and simply no occasion at all. We have also had the pleasure to be invited to Ecuadorian homes for meals and fish cookouts.
In Ecuador, food is always in the spotlight and part of most social gatherings. Ecuadorian wives have cooked for us in our kitchen and shared secret recipes with us. We have had the pleasure to be friends with many Ecuadorian women and now we share with you.
|Our friend Maria making her special Ecuador aji sauce|
|Hiking with friends in the Cajas National Parque|
Since working on this guide we have come across way too much stereotyping, labeling, superficiality and some inappropriate statements about the women of Ecuador.
We commonly see articles and forum posts that are written from ill-mannered, shallow foreign men who seem to only want to pickup Ecuadorian girls in bars and then categorize “ALL Ecuadorian women” into some kind of negative label according to his bad experience. This is what you will see and read all across the board on the Internet. So be careful with what you read and believe on the Internet.
If you go to a bar anywhere in the world, to meet people, then your intentions are already well-established, accurate or not; If you want to harvest a broccoli you go to a broccoli garden, and if you want to encounter a family oriented Ecuadorian woman, the most likely place is going to be her family setting? Like the old, well worn cliché denotes “it’s not rocket science”.
So, now that we have that out of the way, let’s get on with this guide about Ecuadorian women.
Ecuador Women and Family Culture
To understand the behaviors and customs of Ecuador women one must go back to the family culture. The younger women of Ecuador are very close with their mother and sometimes their father and will most-likely still be living at home if she is not married, even if she is in her late twenties or thirties. We have even seen women in their 40s living with their parents. This way of life in Ecuador is not looked upon as peculiar, like it is in North America. It’s actually very common and there are many substantiated reasons for this.
2. Help in family home/business
3. Conservative Values
4. Ecuador is family oriented culture, family comes first
Twenty-something, unmarried Ecuador girls that live at home will normally have house policies to abide by such as a curfew and are expected to be around for Sunday’s big Ecuadorian family meal.
Generally speaking, Ecuadorian girls are not rebellious with their parents; they do not splash tattoos all over their bodies, wear nose or belly button rings, or tell their parents they hate them and shout profanities as they run out of the house to go be with their friends. This doesn’t happen here.
Sure, feelings might get hurt and tempers rise but the rebellion thing doesn’t exist in Ecuador. Which came first, the chicken or the egg; so then Ecuadorians put their family relationships first and therefore family relationships are stronger in Ecuador, for the most part.
Generally, the young women in the home will work in the family store and is why you see so many young people working in mom and pop shops, cafes and restaurants in Ecuador. Preteens and teenagers are often seen working behind the family shop. They teach the young women all the skills she needs to manage home life and the family business at a early age.
Three and a half years ago our son met his pretty Ecuadorian wife in an ice cream parlor that her parents had at the time. Brandon recalled to us that she was smiling a lot and remembers how shy she was. The next day he went back and asked her out and now they’re married.
|Brandon & Alexandra|
Ecuador provides its citizens with almost free education; almost because they still have to pay a small tuition fee (which is not called tuition fee) of around $300 per year as well as pay for text books and other miscellaneous expenditures that crop up throughout the duration of their attendance.
Where Can I Find a Good Ecuadorian
Woman for Marriage?
We were once asked, “Where can I find a good Ecuadorian woman?” Wow, what a loaded question! We think finding a “good wife”, no matter where in the world you are seeking depends a lot on you and your values and how much you really know the woman before getting married. If you are a “good man” then it will be easier to find a “good wife”. If you share in the same values and beliefs then the relationship will grow and you can commit further.
Relationships, friendships, business-ships, marriage, they all need to have a firm foundation if they are to grow and last. Being respectful and caring of each other’s needs is what all relationships thrive on. Trust is a biggy in marriage and without that it’s pretty much doomed for failure.
A relationship built upon outward and superficial things such as sex, lust, careers, money, status and even beauty will not grow and mature because these things are not love but something else, and eventually the marriage will disintegrate.
Do not underestimate the importance of getting to KNOW the woman you are actually interested in. What are her values? Does she have a good relationship with her parents? Does she value marriage and family? Does she value herself and others? What kind of temperament does she have? All of these things take time to find out. People generally put out their good side at first but eventually the Fruits of the Spirit will become apparent once you REALLY get to know them.
As we said earlier, if you go to a bar to find an Ecuadorian girl your chances of finding a good one drop by almost nil. Good girls do not go to bars. On the other hand, if you have the chance to find a woman at a hobby meet up, sport or church function, volunteer service, young people’s club or other social gathering that you enjoy, then your chances of finding a like-minded Ecuador woman are much better. Knowing some Spanish to be able to socialize and get to know her is a good idea as well.
Ecuadorian women are mostly reserved and shy and will not be assertive and ask a man out. It’s just not the way it works here. Most of the women in Ecuador have been taught to behave like a lady. You could say it is very traditional here.
Decent women abound throughout Ecuador as well as some of them, not so decent. It’s really up to you and your discernment of someone and how much time you have to really get to know someone. However, having said all that, coming to Ecuador to find a good woman can be challenging and somewhat complicated especially if you don’t have much time on your hands to find the right one and money to support yourself while you’re living here.
Temperament of the Ecuadorian Woman
When we talk about temperament we essentially mean character and disposition in life. Broadly speaking, the women we personally know in Ecuador are happy with life and are not demanding or needy people and there are good reasons for this inner well being. They are instead easy going and to a point, more carefree and less stressed out than their North American counterparts and is almost certainly attributed to not having that rush-rush career-minded mentality of “need to do better than the males in the office” or “need to do this so I can make more money goals’.
Not to say that if there were an easy way to make more money, without putting out much effort, they wouldn’t do it but they will not go out of their way, much. Age also has a lot to do with disposition.
Ecuadorian women that do have careers whether it is in banking, real estate government, etc, are not that ambitious or perhaps a better word here would be, motivated. Life here is taken as it comes. Entrepreneurial desire is not part of the Ecuadorian work ethic. They take what comes to them rather than push themselves to the outer limits.
In our business dealings with Ecuadorian women, they rarely email you back and usually take long lunches with family and friends, and set appointments for days or weeks away than what you’d expect in doing business with a North American woman. So this is all to say, they exhibit manana attitude in their careers as well as in daily life. Simply put, family is going to come before work.
Ecuadorian girls are not usually boisterous and loud but rather soft-spoken and maybe slightly reserved. Women of Ecuador have a serviceable quality about them and many work in the healthcare field. In general, they happily oblige themselves to their family and close friends, always being of service when and where needed. This enduring trait stems from their upbringing in the home of learning how to cook, clean and care for young siblings in the home.
Ecuadorian Women and Marriage
We were once asked this question: “Are Ecuadorian girls marriage minded”? Yes, they are very much marriage minded. Getting married is an anticipated aspect of life in Ecuador and beginning a family starts quite early on. We responded to this question in more detail in the video below.
Generally speaking, in healthy marriage, Ecuadorian women are not demanding of their husbands compared to western cultures. In North America, women expect their husbands make them happy while most Ecuadorian women seem to already have a content well being within them and so in retrospect they are able to give more of themselves to the marriage and family.
We know this first hand from our son who, as you know is married to an Ecuadorian…and knew her for three years before they were married. He says, “she is very easy going”, in his words.
|Brandon and Alexandra|
On the broad-spectrum, Ecuadorian women are not bossy, demanding or insecure in their wifely role and are loving wives. Also in that regard the man is expected to take their role as a husband, father, provider, protector, etc, very seriously.
Are Ecuadorian Women Faithful?
Ecuadorian women, as a cultural norm are faithful, loving and respectful wives if they are provided with the same faithfulness and respect in return. Of course, you have heard the Latin saying, “It takes two to tango”.
In a nutshell, careers and selfish ambition do not come before husbands or family in Ecuador. In fact, husbands and wives do everything together as a family. Anyone can see that if they live in Ecuador for any amount of time.
Is it true that some Ecuadorian women are just looking for a guy with money? There are gold diggers in all cultures and Ecuador is not immune. Nothing else needs to be said about this issue. It’s only made into a big deal in Ecuador and other Latin and Asian cultures because the man is the foreigner and he usually has money and that aspect stands out for people.
You have to understand that most guys that date a gold digger do it to themselves because they are looking for a woman in all the wrong places or he isn’t using any discernment or he is so desperate that he simply doesn’t care. But there are probably just as many gold diggers in the USA as there are in Ecuador. As a whole, Ecuadorian women are not in any hurry to go live in the U.S like their Philippine counterparts.
Bottom line, Ecuadorian women believe marital fidelity to be a valuable component to a lifelong marriage. In essence, Ecuadorian women make loving wives if treated with respect. Ecuadorian marriage is not without issues, however.
The Breakdown of Ecuadorian Marriage
The breakdown of the Ecuadorian marriage is usually because of a straying husband. In Ecuador one third of husbands has affairs and or has a mistress. This is a sad reality in Ecuador and other Latin countries. Oddly some of the wives know of the mistress and simply look the other way because they do not want to disrupt the family and home life through the devastation of divorce. Married Ecuadorian women do not have affairs. If it does happen, it’s rare.
From time to time you may have heard or read about domestic violence being a problem in Ecuador. Sadly this mistreatment may stem from the lack of trust, fears and jealousy that occurs when a husband is unfaithful. Ecuador does not have any more domestic violence than in North America. The U.S has lots of problems in this area.
In Ecuador some marriages simply cannot withstand the lack of trust and the on-going infidelity and the marriage ends in divorce. Alcoholism also frequently plays a part.
It’s quite paradoxical a culture that so much seems to value the family, would entertain such issues. It has become our understanding coming from an Ecuadorian source that these men don’t really see anything wrong with it and those kinds of thoughts can only stem from spiritual bankruptcy.
The women of Ecuador do have a tendency to be jealous and for good reason. This tells us that this wayward pattern of fathers is falling back onto the sons and it has manifested itself into a vicious cycle. Ecuador has a higher rate of teenage, unwed pregnancy than in North America, if you can believe that, and a higher rate of divorce than some of the other Latin American countries.
Do Ecuadorian Women Like Foreign Men
Some Ecuadorian women idealize gringos, thinking they will not stray from marriage; they are curious about what a gringo man is like, how he thinks and feels and if he will like her… because in Ecuador the unfortunate fact is many of the younger generation of women are persuaded into having sex. Then some of these young women see their own fathers having a mistress. It can be difficult for a young woman who is anticipating marriage to wonder if when she gets married if her husband is going to have affairs too.
We believe that is one of the reasons why Ecuadorian women are attracted to foreign men. They hope for a change and seek trust and stability in marriage. We have observed some of the young women married to older gringo men that look to be twice her age and yet it is apparent these relationships are built on financial security and stability of the marriage and these young women love and respect their husband for that.
Ecuadorian Women and Motherhood
Ecuadorian women are excellent mothers sometimes to the point of over-spoiling their children. Babies are usually breast fed, which is widely accepted as a very natural part of motherhood in Ecuador. Many Ecuadorian parks have statues of mothers feeding their babies from the breast. Mothers feeding their babies is practiced throughout Ecuador and is a healthy start for a growing baby.
Mothers rarely, if ever go anywhere without their children. If they work outside of the home they don’t generally use a babysitter but instead the children go to grandma’s house. Sometimes the young married couple still lives at home and in some instances great grandma lives there too. Three generations living in the same home in Ecuador. Now that’s a home!
It is not uncommon to see mothers working in their little grocery store or other small shop while her baby is nearby in a playpen or bassinet. This is also an accepted practice for many reasons such as a relative being unable to care for the child or not wanting to hire or cannot afford a babysitter, so she simply takes her baby with her to work.
In the Andes of Ecuador you will see the younger indigenous women carry their babies on their backs in a little hammock; sometimes they also have a toddler who sits quietly playing with her toys while mom sells fruits in season.
The younger indigenous women of Ecuador will always have their children with them. It is not uncommon to see a young mother, of perhaps 16 years old with two children by her side as she sells produce on the streets in Cuenca Ecuador.
When they say families stick together in Ecuador, they mean it!
Ecuadorian Women and Fashion
Ecuadorian women are almost always dressed nice unless they are working at a job that requires getting their hands dirty. They love to dress up in jeans or slacks and super high, high heels or boots. Their long lovely hair is usually styled in a pony tail for work purposes but in the evening, more girls wear their hair down. They usually have well manicured, painted fingernails and like to wear big silver rings, big watches and dangling earrings. Costume jewelry is a rave in Ecuador.
Ecuadorian women on the coast do dress differently than the Andes women but that is going to be a topic that we'll discuss in a different article. There is a lot to say about the differences between the two regions, not only in dress but in personality. Not to say, one is better than the other, just different.
Ecuadorian women may seem aloof or shy at first but once she gets to know you and you become friends with her that will change. Ecuadorians make friends for life and “REAL” friends are cherished.
We hope you have enjoyed this Guide about the women of Ecuador. Please don’t take everything to heart because you might just meet someone who does not exhibit all of these qualities or, perhaps has others qualities not mentioned in this guide. Be aware that this is written from a personal standpoint according to our experiences and interactions with Ecuadorian women and what we have been told by Ecuadorian women since our time in Ecuador.
If there is something you would like to add that we did not mention in this guide, let us know in the comments. Enjoy your time in Ecuador!
North American Men Marrying Ecuadorian Women
Is It Machismo or Just Plain Disrespect
Marriage and Family Values STILL Exist in Ecuador
3 Ecuadorian University Students Interview Us
Here's the video that goes along with this guide.
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