This updated article was first published on our blog on October 2015
Reader Asks: I am thinking of traveling to Ecuador I have met a Ecuadorian lady online, Do the women wish to stay in this country or would they like to marry an American man and move here, I am asking just in general I realize each could be different. In the Philippines many women wish to marry anyone and come here to US.
Well thanks for asking us. As you know, putting two people together into a commitment of Marriage is already a challenge without adding additional hurdles such as different language, different culture and different place. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and just flying off to another country, thinking you met the Ecuador woman of your dreams online and whisking her off to the U.S is a bit Cinderella-ish.
This video talks about some of the pros and cons of marrying an Ecuadorian woman. Remember, this is generally speaking, as not everyone exhibits the same character traits. Everyone has their own unique individuality.
We hate to say it but you are jumping the gun. It sounds like you think you love this Ecuadorian woman whom you have never met and don’t know very well, which shows us that you are allowing your emotions to lead the relationship rather than your sensibilities.
There is nothing wrong with marrying an Ecuadorian girl and taking her back to your homeland but you haven’t even met the woman and not only that, but you don’t even know her or her family. She may not want to move to the U.S. It may take more than a 3-month VISA stay in Ecuador to find out if this Ecuadorian woman has a commitment to be with you for life.
UPDATE 2018: Ecuador Marriage Visa - If you're thinking of coming here and marrying so to receive a quick Ecuadorian citizenship, be careful there are lengthy interviews for spotting sham weddings and three years of marriage before you can even apply for citizenship. There have been numerous Colombians, Chinese and Cubans who have wedded Ecuadorians in sham marriages. We say, don't risk it. Marrying an Ecuadorian woman just so you can receive citizenship is a bad idea and demoralizes the beautiful relationship of marriage.
Do Ecuadorian Women Want to Move to the U.S?
Ecuadorian women usually have very close relationships with their parents, meaning she may not want to move to North America. Ecuadorians are usually happy and content in their own country.
will say this: Ecuadorian women admire some things about the U.S, but they
aren’t itching to leave Ecuador and go live in the U.S like Philippine
An American man marrying an Ecuadorian woman or any foreign woman, for that matter can be very convoluted. It’s not as easy as it seems. There is so much you need to think about before wasting your time with someone you met online. There are so many unanswered questions. Let's talk about those.
1. Why does an Ecuadorian woman feel the need to go to an online dating room and find an American man to marry? Is there an agenda? Maybe she does want to move to North America?
Update 2018: This question you will not know until you actually meet her and find out her substance and what she is all about.
2. Do you really want to spend thousands of dollars to fly to and stay in Ecuador for a few months just to SEE if she is willing to marry and move back to the U.S with you? It would be different if you were already just moving to Ecuador for the adventure or other personal reasons and then you just happened to meet her/a woman, etc, etc. But you don’t even know her.
Update 2018: Our oldest son married an Ecuadorian woman but he lives here and they courted for three years before getting married. They knew each other inside and out before getting married
3. Many of the Ecuadorian women come from not so well off families and in some cases they actually SEEK to marry a man with money to help the family out. It doesn’t mean she will not love and care for her husband; it means her family is important to her. The question is, are you willing to do that? Are you willing to take care of her parents/grandparents too? (This is one reason why she may not want to move to the U.S as well.)
In more prosperous Ecuadorian families this is probably not expected that you pay for things. But this brings me back to “why” is she going online searching for an American man? Red flag? Maybe?
4. Have you thought about this?: in the unfortunate event of a break up, have you thought about the children? It would be VERY difficult on the children to be separated from one of their parents. Contrary to popular belief, divorce does a lot of emotional damage to children and sometimes scars them for life.
Update 2018: And have you thought about if she decides she wants to move back to Ecuador with YOUR children? This happens and it can happen to anyone who marries an Ecuadorian woman and moves to the U.S...in the event of something harming the relationship, more than likely, because of the attachment Ecuadorian women have with their parents, she'll probably want to move back to Ecuador and take any children you have together with her too.
This is the reality when you marry any woman from another country.
5. Not speaking the same language can also be a big problem, so it is imperative that you speak Spanish so you can communicate appropriately with one another.
Update 2018: It doesn't seem like a big deal but if you're trying to "get to know" someone being able to articulate what they are saying is a huge, huge part of communication, something all relationships meed to survive. Couples who speak different languages will have some barriers to deal with such as miscommunication and lack of thorough understanding of each other.
Marrying Foreign Women and Taking Them to the U.S
We have also heard some horror stories about gringos marrying foreign women; one such story was from a man who took his Philippine bride back to the United States and after gaining a bit of the u.s. feminist culture she divorced him and took him for everything he’s got, even the child they have together. We know the man personally. There are many such unfortunate stories in the feminist culture that is the u.s.a.
Update 2018: It's always sad to hear these stories about men and women who lost their children because they married a foreigner and then the foreign person moved back to their country and took the children with them.
Will it happen to you? Depends on if you TRULY know the woman you marry. and in your case, it looks like you don’t know her at all. If she is leading the relationship, telling you what she wants, how things are going to be done, taking a leading role, then you might want to reassess…and if you continue to allow her to behave in this way, she would seem to us to be a selfish woman who only cares about what she can get from you. Knowing this then you wouldn’t need to come all the way to Ecuador, wasting all that money to meet with her. You already have your answer.
Update 2018 - We have a lot of good things to say about Ecuadorian women because we have had many positive interactions and relationships with them. We're parents to an Ecuadorian daughter now and love her to pieces and she is wonderful and we've been blessed but not all Ecuadorian women are going to be marriage material...you know what we mean?
This certainly doesn't mean you can't find a good Ecuadorian woman, because you can, but where you meet her is the starting of what kind of foundation you can base the relationship on. for example: if you meet an Ecuadorian girl in a nightclub or bar, she is going to be different than the Ecuadorian girl you meet while at a volunteer project or University class, or Christian group, or other hobby group.
Getting to Know Her
The best way to start off a relationship is by becoming friends and getting to truly know someone, finding out what they are all about, which cannot happen through an online chat room; anyone can say whatever they please and you still will not know them and that’s because you need to see how she behaves and interacts in day to day situations and with you.
Most people can talk a good talk but when it comes time to showing the talk, they somehow flub up and the truth comes out. Where is the show; it was all false...that's online dating rooms for you. This happens often when meeting people in dating websites, so you have to be careful. Actions speak much, much louder than words. Tell me, what actions do you see from someone through an online chat room?
If you come to here to meet an Ecuadorian girl, the best advice we can give you is, leave the emotions back in the U.S. Don’t become overly attached because it may not be the right woman for you. She may be pretty and nice when viewing her in a live chat room but what does her heart say? What is her substance all about? Be friends, spend as much time together as you can, learn what she is about, what she expects in a marriage, what kind of a lady is she, but use your sensibilities rather than emotions.
After getting to know her and you find she is all that you want for a wife and more then you will be blessed. But if it turns the other way, so what, learn from it and move on. Some relationships just were not meant to be.
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We're an Expat Family of Five, Living Frugal, Healthy and Happy Abroad. We live in Cuenca, Ecuador and travel the Ecuador coast whenever we get a chance. We just adventured throughout the country of Panama for five weeks! Come along and enjoy some of our experiences with us!